Family disagreements about aging parent care happen more often than you’d think. One sibling wants Mom to stay home with hired help, while another insists she needs memory care. A third can’t contribute financially but objects to every decision. These conflicts strain relationships and, more importantly, delay the care your parent needs. When adult children can’t reach a consensus, the situation often worsens. Bills go unpaid. Medical appointments get missed. The property sits unmanaged. The parent suffers while siblings argue about what’s best.
Why Siblings Disagree About Parent Care
Distance plays a major role. The child living nearby sees a daily decline, while out-of-state siblings remember mom as she was five years ago. They don’t witness the confusion, the falls, or the unopened mail piling up. Financial stress creates friction too. One sibling may have the means to contribute while others struggle. Resentment builds when one child shoulders most of the caregiving burden without help from others. Sometimes old family dynamics resurface. The sibling who was always the favorite might resist input from others. Past grievances color current decisions. Grief and guilt complicate rational thinking.
When Communication Breaks Down
You can’t force siblings to agree. Family meetings sometimes help, but not always. Mediation works for some families. Others need legal intervention to move forward. Billings Elder Care Lawyers handle these disputes regularly. Montana law provides legal mechanisms when families reach an impasse.
Guardianship And Conservatorship As Solutions
Montana courts can appoint a guardian to make personal care decisions when an adult can no longer do so safely. This includes:
- Where the parent lives
- What medical treatment do they receive
- Who provides day-to-day care
- Whether they need assisted living or memory care
A conservator manages financial matters. They pay bills, manage property, handle investments, and make sure funds are used for the parents’ benefit. Courts prefer family members as guardians and conservators, but will appoint professionals if siblings can’t work together. The judge’s priority is always the parent’s welfare, not sibling harmony.
The Legal Process
Someone files a petition with the court explaining why guardianship or conservatorship is necessary. The parent receives notice and has the right to object. Other interested parties, including all children, get notified too. A court evaluator or visitor assesses the situation. They interview the parent, review medical records, and talk to family members. Their report helps the judge decide whether an appointment is appropriate and who should serve. The hearing gives everyone a chance to present their position. Medical evidence, financial records, and testimony from witnesses all factor into the decision. The judge then issues an order based on what serves the parents’ best interests.
Duties And Oversight
Guardians and conservators have significant responsibilities. They must act in the parents’ best interests, not their own. They file regular reports with the court showing how they’re managing care and finances. Courts take these duties seriously. Mismanagement, self-dealing, or neglect can result in removal and sometimes criminal charges. Silverman Law Office, PLLC represents both family members seeking appointment and those challenging someone’s fitness to serve.
Alternatives Worth Considering
Not every family dispute requires court intervention. Some parents created advance directives or powers of attorney when they were still capable. These documents name someone to make decisions and can prevent conflicts before they start. Professional care managers offer another option. They assess needs objectively, coordinate services, and communicate with all family members. This neutral third party sometimes bridges the gap between disagreeing siblings.
Moving Forward
Family conflicts about elderly parent care don’t resolve themselves. The longer you wait, the more damage occurs to both relationships and your parents’ well-being. Montana law provides tools to break deadlocks and ensure proper care. Whether you need help navigating guardianship proceedings, challenging an existing arrangement, or exploring alternatives, Billings Elder Care Lawyers can explain your options and represent your interests in court.